I can’t quite believe I actually just wrote that but then again, it’s hard to believe that vagina beer is actually A THING. We’re late to the party with this story it’s true, but that does not make it any less WTAF – and by that, we are not talking about Wine, Travel And Food…
Order of Yoni beer (‘yoni’ is sanskrit for, well, vagina), is brewed with bacteria swiped from a model’s vagina. I’ll just give you a moment to think about that.
Done? Good. The first story I read about this mentioned that Order of Yoni vagina beer was a project up on a well known website trying to raise money for this, erm, ‘unique’ idea and raised approximately 27p – or something like that. Now I see that lo and behold, the product actually exists. Well, kinda. I can’t seem to find where to buy it yet. Perhaps they’re still looking for distribution. Maybe it has something to do with the official tasting note on their website, which may put off a few people…
“This sour ale is essentially full of femininity, sensuality, charm, passion and sexuality due to vaginal lactobacillus bacteria usage in the brewing process.”
Sour ale? That makes me think of the poor model with all that swabbing. Ingredients are listed as “water, barley malts (Pilsner, Munich, caramel, roasted), hops (American Cascade, Polish Iunga), cognac oak chips, yeasts, lactobacillus. Unfiltered, pasteurized. ABV 6,1%.
I don’t know about you, but I think I would rather have mine filtered.
Whose vagina is it anyway?
So far, there are apparently two models (who clearly *aren’t* porn stars), called Monika and Paulina. Paulina hasn’t been bottled yet – we assume they don’t mean attacked with broken glass. The wonderful thing about this project however, is that they are hoping to open it up to celebrities, supermodels, actresses etc and may even include edible gold and saffron with the vagina yeast for those. You can put yourself forward as a model too if you like! In the era of #MeToo, this product is particularly special. Oh, and in case you can’t get the image of a woman having a smear test out of your mind, there’s a handy swab date on each and every bottle that tells you exactly when the lady had the cotton bud shoved up her front bottom while her legs were in stirrups with socks still (probably) on her feet. It’s the vagina beer gift that just keeps on giving.
Have you tasted Order of Yoni beer yet? Can you let us know how you get on, please? I may pass on this one.
If you enjoyed this article, you may also like ‘Does Wine Make You Horny’ or try a Real Porn Star With You Porn Star Cocktail, Madam?